Gaslighting-the most sophisticated form of the violence

Via our Virago project we have already presented distinct materials about gender violence towards women. This time, we would like to focus on the gaslighting phenomenon, that is regarded as one of the most sophisticated forms of the violence.

How it starts?

First of all, you start to lose the trust in yourself, your self-esteem becomes to be lower and lower. You are thinking, if you understand properly the recent events… Sounds familiar? Maybe, you are so confused that you ask all the people from you area to confirm your opinions in order to be sure that what you say is true. Nothing is wrong with you!! You are most likely a victim of manipulation, one of its most sophisticated and cruel forms- gasligthing.

What is gaslighting?

According to Merriam-Webster definition, ‘’gaslighting is a  psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.’’

How it works?

It should be highlighted that you can become a victim of gaslighting not only in relations concerning your private life but also at work.  The manipulator starts to carry out his plan in the very careful way. He usually mixes positive words/actions in order then to start to be aggressive towards his victim. The most cruel is the fact that for other people, he seems to still be such a good person. As a result the victim of gaslighting starts to feel disorientated, helpless and misunderstood. At the most advantaged stage the person who is affected by the gaslighting questions her own mental health.

 The most frequent phrases used by the gaslighter are:

You take everything too personally.

I’m not nervous you are!

What do you want from me!!? It is your imagination only!!

You have big problems!! 

You need a psychiatrist!!

You are delusional!!

You are really crazy!!

To sum up, the phenomenon of gaslighting cannot be ignored! It is a type of psychological violence that can be no less harmful than physical violence – instead of hurting your body, it hurts your emotions! If you are witness of gaslighting do not wait calmly, look for the help.

No one deserve to be humiliated and manipulated!